Controlled or Free

I am lying on the bed after a whole hectic day. Seeing the phone connected to my charger.I pick it up, and suddenly MY BRAIN has a vivid vision of something – "What is it? I try to remember." Only to discover it was a cringe decision I took in the past.  Let's agree we all have guilty memories we wish never existed. I mean, I remember myself crying just to undo those things. Once I burnt my own diary by mistake. After few seconds I remember, I was begging and crying to God, " Please SAVE MY DIARY! " I was in 6th. It's not the most cringe memory yet. What is cringe? to feel embarrassed/ to be uncomfortable seeing something or someone? maybe? That's my defined answered. In 11th grade, I filmed myself singing a song about being a depressed college student with my friends. The worst part – the watchman saw...and laughed .                                              ...

2 A's what's that you ask? Attention and Appreciation and Affection? - Make it a 3A's I guess. Well who doesn't love these 3A's if you don't, just stay away from me cause you don't have self worth for your own-self and I ain't fixing it for you boo!!" Let's Talk about Attention.   Cause Right now I love the attention you would be investing in my blog too and even in real life. What's giving attention you ask? It means watching, listening to or thinking about somebody/something carefully. Has anyone ever did that to you?  Ah no~ well then they don't really deserve your time and you too cause why waste telling about your whole day who won't even listen and process it properly. Isn't it a waste of time and your energy? And you ask me why I want attention? cause I talk a lot and it takes attention to get it all right about me. I even overthink about all your advices, actions and like get sad about it so if you just give me attention...

People who know me would think," Wow! who's even talking about it ?" Well I am. In this generation, I agree Delusion is the Solution but, dude limit yourself a bit, cause the kind of delusional world I'm diving into should be illegal at this point.  Cause * Minnie THE HELL!? CAUSE- (that's my nickname given by my friends, don't judge me, and if you are; at least, my nickname is better than your life.)  If you told me that this person is going to change after 5 months and this is how she/he is gonna treat me and you would be crying about it the day I start considering that person I would laugh my guts out like damn that's cheap. But yet I do it- I know that this person in front of me is no good and I even know I'm no good but that doesn't mean I should disturb my mental health for these kind of people.  FOR example...      The guy I randomly met in 11th std cause he just sat beside me. Like that day I thought ey! Minnie is such a Friendly Magnet,but...

 Sometimes we all want a vacation from our busy and messed-up lives, who doesn't love a VACATION?  - Well, my own life doesn't . When I try to relax my way, it always leads me down new paths, for example, today. I am speechless about it like how? god always chooses me for hard battles.Well firstly let me clear some of your questions. People ask me," You post your half of the life online! Why?" Ever heard of personal blogs? That's what I write, it's my free will Back to topic of a normal day. We all crave for it but does problem ever leave you alone? nope. For example: Today  I expected a normal day, but I had to wait in the grocery store for 45 minutes just to buy 2 things and when I thought it was all over. The bad luck of mine had other plans it started to rain and I had no umbrella.  Life mostly gets bitchy with you. Some people you expect walk back in. Why?  We will never know, but the kind of ups and downs I have faced in my 18 years of life experience (b...

 Hi ! Hi ! Hey ... It's been a while since I wrote a blog. For topic, I have nothing today ... Let's talk about quitting Teen hood without even knowing when it started. It was a rollercoaster like you don't realize when the ride started and then it takes you to all kind of highs and lows. When My teen started I already had (I forgot what I was going to type let me think) but let's forget about my teen life cause everyone's teen life is freakin' fcked. Its just a start when you start taking bad decisions and when you're going to be 18 (Ate teen cause though its in a teen age they consider it as adult hood) responsibility start pouring. You're parents would start telling how your life is in your hands but your freedom is still in their hand and this sentence kind of making me wanna commit crimes but we are calm people so I guess today I am going to tell you  HOW TO STAY CALM - Never consider random people you just met. ( Ex- college friends, random uncle ...

 For those who are unfamiliar with the term "accessible," it means online. You got it right, my online life is today's topic. It all started with COVID, as far as I remember. One lovely day, my last school day of 7th grade, we were all running in our buses, splashing water on each other. Who knew that was the last time we would see each other's faces? Who knew? Then, on the next day, the news was splashed all over my annual exam. Guess the news? A lockdown of 21 days sounded like a holiday to my family and every other kid all over the world. I don't know where I got the brains to ask my mother, "Can I install Facebook?" and she said, "Yes!!"  * FUCK YOU GRAMMERLY* Moving forward, I did make an account, and I didn't know people could chat, so first as I space freaky person. I got into a space Facebook group, and my parents were like Wow!! And then I met a guy let's call him ....ISHAN, so he was 20 year old guy and he was always behind th...

Twisted Teenage life.. To know what teenage life is first we have to know what teenage is; the time period in which a child is 13,14,15,16,17 till 18 is teenage. So when I was teenage 13 it was 2020. 2020 The year of great tragedy everyone is scared cause A GUY IN CHINA ATE A BAT and gave birth to COVID-19 which was a pandemic firstly in 2019 Dec but till I could attempt my 7th final exam it was an epidemic. Last time I saw my friends in 7th I don't remember but everything was pretty wacked.  As the 1st lockdown was passing; it was everyone's dream vacation everyone needed it! Until people started to die and everyday seeing your family and dealing with them got hard to extreme as the day passed so I made facebook account. A boomer thing to do but to my surprise it wasn't that bad. Cause of facebook I came to know many things I discovered stuff about NASA, Music, Food etc. That's the place where I found kdrama, Phillipinos. I still remember I was so crazy and fan girly a...